I mean, I guess during the Troubles if you were an atheist you almost certainly came from a family which was Catholic or Protestant. That’s what people would have wanted to know then.
Joshua-Norton-I on
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”
Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
AzulaThorne on
Remember doing this on a Muslim friend, she just said the ones that hate the British. Best friend for twelve years.
All fun and games at the end of the day.
PutTheKettleOff on
I heard it as…
_____
‘Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?’
‘Neither, I’m Atheist!’
‘Alright, but which God is it that you don’t believe in?’
PashaPostaaja on
Ah, yes. The great atheistic schism followed by atheistic reformation. Fun times.
Stoned_Gandalf420 on
I seen this get posted here the other day and the mods removed it…
Wonder if this one will stay up.
Biig_Lasagne on
As a kid I was so confused when my dad described himself as a protestant atheist. Then I learned about the troubles.
Deynonico on
Even atheism has branches now?
Stoned_Gandalf420 on
I’m from the North of Ireland and the most common way you’d get asked what religion you are these days is either by asking where you are from or what school you went to. It’s always asked in a more subtle way, not outright but you can always sort of tell when someone is trying to nosey.
Confuseacat92 on
What if they were a protestant from Germany who hates the british though? 🤨
abfgern_ on
“Are you Protestant or Catholic?”
*Thinks quickly* ” Ahh no, I’m Jewish!”
“Blimey, I must be the luckiest Arab in Belfast!”
Independent-Couple87 on
This sort of reminds me of how the ex-muslims sometimes get called naive for thinking the often anti-islam European Nationalists are their allies.
Or that they will be welcomed with open arms if those nationalists somehow succeed in banning Islam.
At best, they would be paraded around or used as an example of the “savages” becoming “civilized”, and spend the rest of their life under supervision so they don’t “relapse” into Islam.
At worst, they would face the same discrimination, for being “culturally Muslim”.
YoYoYi2 on
To him catholic atheist. If he was twenty stone heavier, protestant atheist. Easy way to tell if you’re ever in N. Ireland.
next question is gonna be: “what foot do you kick with?”
DeficitOfPatience on
I have literally been in this discussion. Word for word.
It went on for quite some time.
KittenHasWares on
As someone from Northern Ireland, one of the earliest jokes in my college friend group was this basically.
AceMcNickle on
What kind of god asks you to put the toaster in the cupboard?
WollemiaShagger on
This comes from a christopher hitchens anecdote I believe. Or he nicked it from someone else
Raaka_Lokki on
Atheism is a term for the religious. I have no need for it, because all religions are tools of manipulation and do not define me.
sasquatchradio on
I’m a Lutheran, do I have to sit with the Eastern Orthodox Christians.
UltraTata on
Yugoslavia be like
tsukinoasagi on
Catholic vs Protestant jokes are some of my favourites
NotEntirelyShure on
That’s a line from the film 71, which is an amazing film.
When the soldier on the run is stopped by a boy and asked if he’s a Protestant or Catholic.
He says he’s an atheist & the boy asks if he’s a Catholic or Protestant atheist.
mdhunter99 on
Fuck I read that with an accent
SecretPack1962 on
“How do you pronounce the letter that comes after G and before I in the alphabet?”
*brogue Irish in the background*
“Ask him where he keeps his toaster lad!”
Killbot_Jones on
Good ol Chris Hitchens jokes are always funny
Berhten on
With the IRA, you can literally switch it to “Are you Republican or Monarchist?”
Ok_Entertainment3626 on
26+6=1
VirtualScotsman on
Fuckin’ proddies……
(I can say that, my great great great grandfather was a cathy!)
daskomet on
watched this movie yesterday, that guy was creepy af
urmyleander on
Massive mixing of era’s going on here my great grandfather was caught up in the civil war and his father died in the easter rising both were aethiest.
Grandad on my moms side and my Nan would take in younger siblings or family members of suspected IRA members as if they remained up north then Loyalist paramilitaries tipped off by the RUC would target these siblings / families to try and draw out the suspect members of the IRA or just kill them for fun.
Grandad hated the catholic church with a passion and was militantly atheist, taught they held the country back and were gruesome criminals long before their crimes came to light but he had been a member of the IRA prior to the provos in his youth.
I am 100% a catholic atheist IRL. Not for any cultural christianity crap I just hate Luther and Calvin
Frenchitwist on
I was once jokingly asked a version of that, except my questions were “are you a Catholic Jew, or a Protestant Jew”. Cause I’m Jewish. Thankfully I’m American so I just fell back on that so I didn’t need to tell anyone my father was actually Lutheran 😭
Free_Explanation2590 on
Reminds me of a similar joke about Lebanon where they respond to you, ok you’re an atheist, but a christian atheist or a muslim atheist ?
37 Comments
I mean, I guess during the Troubles if you were an atheist you almost certainly came from a family which was Catholic or Protestant. That’s what people would have wanted to know then.
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”
Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
Remember doing this on a Muslim friend, she just said the ones that hate the British. Best friend for twelve years.
All fun and games at the end of the day.
I heard it as…
_____
‘Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?’
‘Neither, I’m Atheist!’
‘Alright, but which God is it that you don’t believe in?’
Ah, yes. The great atheistic schism followed by atheistic reformation. Fun times.
I seen this get posted here the other day and the mods removed it…
Wonder if this one will stay up.
As a kid I was so confused when my dad described himself as a protestant atheist. Then I learned about the troubles.
Even atheism has branches now?
I’m from the North of Ireland and the most common way you’d get asked what religion you are these days is either by asking where you are from or what school you went to. It’s always asked in a more subtle way, not outright but you can always sort of tell when someone is trying to nosey.
What if they were a protestant from Germany who hates the british though? 🤨
“Are you Protestant or Catholic?”
*Thinks quickly* ” Ahh no, I’m Jewish!”
“Blimey, I must be the luckiest Arab in Belfast!”
This sort of reminds me of how the ex-muslims sometimes get called naive for thinking the often anti-islam European Nationalists are their allies.
Or that they will be welcomed with open arms if those nationalists somehow succeed in banning Islam.
At best, they would be paraded around or used as an example of the “savages” becoming “civilized”, and spend the rest of their life under supervision so they don’t “relapse” into Islam.
At worst, they would face the same discrimination, for being “culturally Muslim”.
To him catholic atheist. If he was twenty stone heavier, protestant atheist. Easy way to tell if you’re ever in N. Ireland.
https://www.reddit.com/r/HistoryMemes/s/eH838mOeLy I knew I have seen this before
next question is gonna be: “what foot do you kick with?”
I have literally been in this discussion. Word for word.
It went on for quite some time.
As someone from Northern Ireland, one of the earliest jokes in my college friend group was this basically.
What kind of god asks you to put the toaster in the cupboard?
This comes from a christopher hitchens anecdote I believe. Or he nicked it from someone else
Atheism is a term for the religious. I have no need for it, because all religions are tools of manipulation and do not define me.
I’m a Lutheran, do I have to sit with the Eastern Orthodox Christians.
Yugoslavia be like
Catholic vs Protestant jokes are some of my favourites
That’s a line from the film 71, which is an amazing film.
When the soldier on the run is stopped by a boy and asked if he’s a Protestant or Catholic.
He says he’s an atheist & the boy asks if he’s a Catholic or Protestant atheist.
Fuck I read that with an accent
“How do you pronounce the letter that comes after G and before I in the alphabet?”
*brogue Irish in the background*
“Ask him where he keeps his toaster lad!”
Good ol Chris Hitchens jokes are always funny
With the IRA, you can literally switch it to “Are you Republican or Monarchist?”
26+6=1
Fuckin’ proddies……
(I can say that, my great great great grandfather was a cathy!)
watched this movie yesterday, that guy was creepy af
Massive mixing of era’s going on here my great grandfather was caught up in the civil war and his father died in the easter rising both were aethiest.
Grandad on my moms side and my Nan would take in younger siblings or family members of suspected IRA members as if they remained up north then Loyalist paramilitaries tipped off by the RUC would target these siblings / families to try and draw out the suspect members of the IRA or just kill them for fun.
Grandad hated the catholic church with a passion and was militantly atheist, taught they held the country back and were gruesome criminals long before their crimes came to light but he had been a member of the IRA prior to the provos in his youth.
Dara O’Brien [telling a similar joke](https://youtube.com/shorts/TkD4FiNbjqs?is=yBWmHV82dLdi0c3N)
“What about anti-British atheist?”
“Aye, I can work with that”
I am 100% a catholic atheist IRL. Not for any cultural christianity crap I just hate Luther and Calvin
I was once jokingly asked a version of that, except my questions were “are you a Catholic Jew, or a Protestant Jew”. Cause I’m Jewish. Thankfully I’m American so I just fell back on that so I didn’t need to tell anyone my father was actually Lutheran 😭
Reminds me of a similar joke about Lebanon where they respond to you, ok you’re an atheist, but a christian atheist or a muslim atheist ?