Tomorrow is my 29th birthday.
For some reason, I’m feeling a little low today. Not because something bad happened , just that quiet, reflective feeling that comes before a birthday.
I’m not exactly where I thought I’d be by this age. Still figuring things out. Still in the middle of building my life.
I’m trying to stay grateful and optimistic, but today feels heavy.
If you’ve felt this before your birthday, how did you deal with it? How do you show yourself some kindness when self-doubt creeps in?
Just wanted to share this somewhere safe
by _too_much_tea
5 Comments
Hey I turned 30 at the start of the month. I also have an anxiety disorder so birthdays especially milestones are really difficult for me.
Over the years I’ve learned that it gets harder and harder to keep the voice quiet. It seems to get a little louder every year. The trick is to keep it at a whisper.
I keep journals and try to journal every day so that I can keep that and at least went “this is where my year went” I stick receipts, business cards, entry passes, anything and everything to my hearts desire that reminds me of something I did. From metal counts of the Olympics to famous people dying to a song I heard on the radio. It all goes in there.
Over time it gets a easier to keep that voice at a whisper, you just have to remind it sometimes that every year your setting a new personal best for years.
On birthdays, you gotta do fun stuff for you. Don’t wait for someone else to give u a fun day.
This is such a real feeling and way more common than people admit. You’re not behind, you’re literally in the middle of building your life, which is exactly where you’re supposed to be at 29. Be gentle with yourself tomorrow. You’ve made it through 100% of your uncertain days so far. ❤️
My positive nihilistic view of the world is as follows.
Sounds like depressing shit but bear with me.
Nothing matters right?
You are unlikely to make significant impact on the world.
But for that exact reason you should be happy, the responsibility to achieve greatness isn’t yours.
You decide what is good enough, don’t let the pressure of others diminish what you consider an achievement.
If you can achieve your own bubble of happiness, THAT is greatness.
To be happy is to win and if you can manage that you’ve got billions beat.
Anything that makes you feel warmth or smile is the peak of what you should be fighting for, not giving your life for the profit of others (corporations will never lift you up).
That’s all I’ve got in my head for now dude
Hope this helps and Happy Birthday brother
29 is not a bad time to still be figuring things out. I was working a dead end job and decided to go back to school for business at 30. I finished at 32 and got into tech sales and was in business development for 10 years, working my way up to director of business development. I made another career change at 42 and moved into the sales side cause I was burning out with business development. And 6 months ago I decided to work on myself physically and have lost 120 pounds in 6 months, and have another 30/35 to go, any I’m training for some backpacking trips this summer.
Trust me, 29 is very young, your best years are still ahead of you, and try and make some goals you can focus on in the short term, medium term, and long term. Also look into hobbies you could be interested in, break out of your comfort zone. If you have things you’re actively focusing on instead of just going day to day, it helps you grow and process.