He’s white, but not that white.

    by mindyour

    41 Comments

    1. I once saw a recipe in a book from the 70’s that called for 2 tablespoons of diced green BELL PEPPER

    2. That’s not ziti. Looks like fusillini or fusilli. Also where the fuck is the sauce. Is that just pasta and pot cheese? Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that but that’s just not even close to baked ziti

      And like, you wouldn’t really put red pepper in a ziti anyway but actual baked ziti has red sauce and usually a shit ton of onion and garlic and sausage or beef. But I can see why in a giant tray of pasta and ricotta and not much else you would need literally anything to give it some flavor

    3. Why is baked ziti not the ziti noodle or the correct sauce color?

      I bet the poor person had to read through the entire life story before getting to the recipe too.

    4. Most of those recipes on websites are not tested and are basically garbage. When I try to use one I always just look at an ingredients list for ideas and maybe look at ratios of the ingredients but usually the amounts are useless.

    5. dorothy_zbornakk on

      why would you use red pepper flakes in a white cheese and cream based sauce anyway? black pepper, table salt, oregano, basil, maybe some thyme, and a bit of sage should be fine.

    6. el_pinko_grande on

      This is make me wonder if a baked ziti with some garam masala and curry powder would be good. 

    7. Technical-Mix-3315 on

      The golden rule is to eyeball it, you know what you like.

      That said, young kids today have let the “seasoned food” meme get completely out of whack and now they think that any meat that isn’t snowed under a blizzard of onion powder, paprika and Lawrys is “white”.

      Sometimes all you need on a fine cut of steak is some salt, pepper and a little garlic butter. Put the Mrs Dash down, folks.

    8. ohlookahipster on

      That’s not ziti. And *cooking* with pepper flakes releases the capsaicin oil throughout the dish.

      It’s less spicy if you quickly eat the dried flakes vs cooking with them.

    9. Ryanisreallame on

      The real move is to not measure spices in general. I’m white as snow and I just eyeball all my spices and definitely use more than just about every recipe I look at calls for.

      *this does not apply for baking. I can’t bake for shit.

    10. I love spicy food, but honestly they way some food is seasoned, you don’t need to add a ton of spicy to make it well seasoned

    11. Internet recipes should be used as starting points. This looks awful. Chili flakes ain’t gonna save it.

    12. A woman I know is a cookbook author and food blogger. She offered me a dish one time with the warning that it had a bit of heat, be careful. It was about a 1.5 on a 10-point scale, but then again, she’s from Wisconsin.

    13. Accidental-Genius on

      Are Italians white? Because I know a lot of Italian grandmas who would show up to a street fight over this.

    14. It would be interesting to see some type of ai assess recipes and try to guess the ethnicity of the person who made that recipe

    15. Measurements are more like proportions and the starting point is at least double what the recipe says

    16. When I was in the Air Force, I made Jambalaya for the squadron picnic. I intentionally toned the spiciness, but a lot of the other white people thought it was spicy as fuck. Second time I made it, I was jaded as fuck and made it how I like it. Sniffles and crying everywhere lmao.

    17. unhappyrelationsh1p on

      what the fuck is going on in these comments?? Are you people animals? Is that why you eat the way you do?

      Have some self respect, a dash of cayanne adds heat, paprika adds colour and white pepper is a STAPLE seasoning

    18. Certain_Degree687 on

      This is exactly why I simply eye-ball my seasonings when it comes to recipes because 99.9% of the time, recipes will require a lot more than just a dash of this or that.

      The only time I truly use measurements is when I’m baking because that becomes a thing of difference between a cake that rises or one that collapses into a puddle or sticks to the sides of my bundt pan.

    19. ToneDeafOrphan on

      I got warned in western Florida that the chicken strips at Chic-fil-A were spicy. That’s when I remembered everyone was from Wisconsin originally and their people immigrated from countries that consider black pepper too spicy. Elsewhere I tried to order a extra spicy bloody mary and the bar tender’s natural response was “don’t worry sir it wont be spicy.” She was shocked when I corrected her and wanted it to burn my face off. Not all white people are allergic to seasoning just steer clear of any recipe north of the Mason Dixon.

    20. When I order curry, I have to tell them, “not white person hot, actual spice, please”, sometimes mutiple times.

    21. As a cook, my measurement whenever using salt, pepper, garlic, shallot or crushed pepper is “enough.” 😂😂

    22. ILikeBen10Alot on

      Most online recipes are meant for any random to enjoy it, they tend to under deliver the spicey stuff because alot of people just won’t eat spicey anything

    23. Theres levels to white spice. You’ll get the ones that tomato and pepper will make them choke, then theres the other side that will fire back things that will make Satan’s asshole pucker.

    24. Minimum-Situation985 on

      That has to be a Northern white people thing, because every Southern white person I know loves spicy stuff and has at least two bottles of different hot sauces in their fridge.

    25. White people have two flavors of spicy
      1. Radioactive stool from how hot it is
      2. Or better cool it with the mayonnaise before I burn my tongue. 

    26. I find this hilarious.

      My wife is Indian. The meals we cook are seasoned. I only have a couple of Melanin deficient friends that eat spicy food. They are the only ones we invite over for food because all the other ones say things like…

      “You guys really like when food burns”

      “I can only handle so much salt”

      “Be careful, it’ll burn you”

      But when her side of the family links up with my side of the family, them plates get cleaned and no leftovers.

    27. Hazzard_Hillbilly on

      “Go outside. Whisper the word ‘pepper’ into a handkerchief. Return inside and gently wave the handkerchief no less than 10 feet away. If you like it extra spicy, you can really heat things up by looking at a police sketch artist rendition of parsley.”

    28. GlitteringDare9454 on

      I need the basics of a recipe if it isn’t baking, and I don’t need Braislynn’s input into how much Lawry’s is going in.

    29. HoardingGil_FF on

      I had the opposite. I followed a white person recipe for Puerto Rican style rice. So I buy my Sazon and I’m following directions. The lady put down to use the ENTIRE box of it. I was like fuck it, I’ll do it. My rice was salty asf and a deeper orange than Cheetos. I told my Hispanic friend about it and he was like omfg you only need the smallest amount of it. That shit was inedible. I should have asked my friend for a recipe but decided hey the southern white woman with a food blog surly can’t lead me astray.

    30. Any recipe. When I’m doing White Bean Chicken Chili in the Instant Pot – teaspon this, teaspon that.

      Nope. Onion Powder – Pour. Garlic Powder, Solid 4 or 5 shakes. Red Pepper like this, little white cap gets pulled off and we go into Pour mode. Always comes out great. You get a feel for it after a while.

    Leave A Reply