I went into Burnside this morning with my wife for some Pine State Biscuits and Gravy. forgot my Kevlar but I was lucky that ANTIFA was having their saturday worship of Karl Marx.
had to push past 3 pregnant women eatting Tylenol by the bottle, screaming “IM GETTING 10 ABORTIONS TODAY!” while a literal demon from hell came from the ground and started masturbating to pictures of dead Republicans
my wife barely escaped the Wells Fargo Center collapsing down town. someone provided us aborted stem cells from a Christian fetus, and after a quick offering to the dark lord, she was fine
Gonna tell our kids it was our Vietnam.
Cambers-175 on
Will NOBODY think about the baristas?!
Greful on
Alas, the dream of the 90s is no longer alive.
Soulphite on
UnderwhelmingAF on
Well done. This deserves all the ridicule it can possibly get.
sikkdog13 on
I will be escaping the occupying state of Texas in my electric chariot as my people are being persecuted and kicked off our land for, * *checks notes* *, being here before all other peoples. We are being sent South of the river to, * *checks notes again* *, lands that are part of the land we are being kicked off from. I will assist in the war effort upon my arrival. I will need assistance with part of the uniform. Will need thick rimmed glasses, scarves, and beanies.
PWal501 on
Yoll lettah has brought a tare tah mah eyes.
Yours in boundless ad-mah-rasshon,
Colonel Colon C Cullpeppah.
DJMagicHandz on
AusCan531 on
Here’s a letter home from the other side.
Dearest Mother,
My time here in Civil War Il: Revenge of the Trump, has been trying. General Kid Rock has failed us and now our unit is entrenched in a Hobby Lobby on the border of Colorado and Mexico. Our rations of Chik-fil-a and Papa Johns are running low. We wait with bated breath for President Trump’s bone spurs to heal so that he may ride in, like the magestic hero he is, and save our wretched rabble!
Many in our unit have caught windmill noise cancer. The horrid smell of covfefe lingers in the air. It is truly a disheartening affair. Send my love to uncle daddy and my 13 siblings, and hold tight in your faith in the MAGA and white Jesus!
9 Comments
I went into Burnside this morning with my wife for some Pine State Biscuits and Gravy. forgot my Kevlar but I was lucky that ANTIFA was having their saturday worship of Karl Marx.
had to push past 3 pregnant women eatting Tylenol by the bottle, screaming “IM GETTING 10 ABORTIONS TODAY!” while a literal demon from hell came from the ground and started masturbating to pictures of dead Republicans
my wife barely escaped the Wells Fargo Center collapsing down town. someone provided us aborted stem cells from a Christian fetus, and after a quick offering to the dark lord, she was fine
Gonna tell our kids it was our Vietnam.
Will NOBODY think about the baristas?!
Alas, the dream of the 90s is no longer alive.
Well done. This deserves all the ridicule it can possibly get.
I will be escaping the occupying state of Texas in my electric chariot as my people are being persecuted and kicked off our land for, * *checks notes* *, being here before all other peoples. We are being sent South of the river to, * *checks notes again* *, lands that are part of the land we are being kicked off from. I will assist in the war effort upon my arrival. I will need assistance with part of the uniform. Will need thick rimmed glasses, scarves, and beanies.
Yoll lettah has brought a tare tah mah eyes.
Yours in boundless ad-mah-rasshon,
Colonel Colon C Cullpeppah.
Here’s a letter home from the other side.
Dearest Mother,
My time here in Civil War Il: Revenge of the Trump, has been trying. General Kid Rock has failed us and now our unit is entrenched in a Hobby Lobby on the border of Colorado and Mexico. Our rations of Chik-fil-a and Papa Johns are running low. We wait with bated breath for President Trump’s bone spurs to heal so that he may ride in, like the magestic hero he is, and save our wretched rabble!
Many in our unit have caught windmill noise cancer. The horrid smell of covfefe lingers in the air. It is truly a disheartening affair. Send my love to uncle daddy and my 13 siblings, and hold tight in your faith in the MAGA and white Jesus!
Your son, Matt