So the wife and I are working on our dead bedroom, here's the result.

    Note:

    I would be perfectly happy to go down on her as often as she'd like. She doesn't enjoy it.

    by throwawaysigh333

    39 Comments

    1. whats the work that you have both taken on? Is the graph to track your progress? Do you have a couple “goal” set to reach?

    2. You want to have sex 1.5 times a day… Bro…. Where’s your head at? Are you the idiot asking if your wife says to have sex every day during and after her pregnancy?

    3. I wish there was some sort of indication where the months start and end in the very top graph.

    4. FYI, the Venn diagram of “men who have sex 1.5x a day” and “men who say ‘sexy times'” is two separate circles.

    5. I get that people probably quantify dead bedroom differently, but I personally think 20 times is above the threshold. I’ve always heard closer to 10, which is probably where we are at (wife has a pretty terrible medical condition that affects our sex life).

    6. DerelictMythos on

      Deep down you know this will never change to a meaningful level for you. You either accept that this is your life, or find someone who is compatible.

    7. PM_ME_CATS_OR_BOOBS on

      Saying this with love, man, why are you posting this? Is it for validation? Because you’re not just keeping score, you’re setting up a whole ass sports betting market.

      You have a problem that isn’t fixed by sharing this with strangers online. I’m sure your partner knows that you rarely have sex. Putting it to numbers just makes it sounds like you’re laying out a paper trail, and it probably makes them feel like shit. Talk it out emotionally, go to couple’s therapy, figure out what is the disconnect.

    8. This is a libido mismatch for sure, but not a dead bedroom. Especially if your wife is going through postpartum, perimenopause or other kinds of hormonal changes. I get your frustration but this graph screams resentment and if I were your wife, seeing it would make me lose what little desire I still had for you.

    9. CaughtInDireWood on

      The resentment towards your wife is palpable. Not saying it’s misplaced resentment, but yikes. Bad situation all around.

    10. Airing your dissatisfaction with your wife’s libido to a bunch of strangers on Reddit is a good way to make the situation a whole lot worse.

    11. Adventurous-Egg-7600 on

      I’m confused about his frequency / year vs frequency of his initiation. It looks like she’s putting in far more effort than expected.

    12. daiquiri-glacis on

      Is the quality rating only considering the chart creator not the partner?

      “She doesn’t enjoy it” is a great reason for the low numbers

    13. She’s having an orgasm 2 times each time but somehow doesn’t want to have sex that much… hmm…

    14. Your wife initiated sex 13 times this year?  Damn I can only dream about that.    Wife hasn’t initiated sex in years,  even before the dead bedroom.   And lingerie?  God I think it’s been at least five years. 

    15. chick-killing_shakes on

      I don’t think your wife is orgasming nearly as much as you think she is, which is perhaps part of the problem?

    16. IsilmeCalithil on

      I’m somewhat doubtful about the orgasm rate. She has twice as many orgasms as you from missionary position? Is that according to her or according to you?

    17. Boy is there ever a lot of virgins slash people who’ve never been in a long term relationship speaking confidently in this thread.

    18. Inevitable-Spirit491 on

      “Hey hun, what are you working on?”

      “Oh, just ranking my orgasm quality on the subjective five point scale I came up with.”

      “…what for?”

      “It’s for the ‘Climaxin’’ section of my infographic, ‘Sex Chart 2025’!”

    19. Bro. No foreplay, and you are claiming she has over 2 orgasms on average? Also, bro no girl is cumming twice for “maintenance sex.” She’s clearly faking her orgasms/lying. 3x a year is also ridiculous considering her initiation rate, and 1.5x a day is.. Well, wild.

      Look, I’m not there, so obviously I don’t know. But I’m getting the feeling you don’t really understand what’s going on here. Which I would imagine is a common problem in dead bedrooms.

    20. There is absolutely no way that this exercise results in more sex than if it didn’t exist.

    21. SaintMitchHedberg on

      sometimes when I’m having a bad day and feel like a pitiful piece of shit and really down on myself i’ll come across post like this in reddit and think to myself you know what I’m not really doing too bad.

    22. 2.2 orgasms per coitus but her desired sex frequency is 3x a year? You sure she aint fakin’?

    23. o5mfiHTNsH748KVq on

      This is the kind of behavior and passive aggressive resentment that’s a one way street to divorce. You should consider couples therapy.

      I’m 100% serious. You’ll likely learn a bit about yourself.

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