Kleenex [1947]

    by GumbyWeinstein

    14 Comments

    1. *When you need to wipe the jizz off your knob, only Kleenex will do! Accept no substitute.*

    2. That was a very emotional conversation about Kleenex. I do worry about how else uncle Joe demonstrated Kleenex.

    3. kleingartenganove on

      “Come to think of it, if I had nutted into a Kleenex instead of your mom, that would’ve saved me the trouble of taking my belt off any time a little twit handed me a box of off-brand tissues.”

    4. Master_Hospital_8631 on

      Got his ass chewed out by the whole fucking family for being an asshole and buying the wrong tissue.

      Notice how nobody is on their phone.  They’re just living in the moment and berating an adolescent for making a careless mistake.

      Kids today wouldn’t have snapped under the pressure.

    5. ThatMichaelsEmployee on

      Why is there even a box of off-brand tissues in the house? And why did nobody seem to know about it? It’s a near certainty in that era that Mother did all the shopping: did she enter a fugue state and buy a cheaper brand? Or do they have servants who do all the grocery shopping? If so, Matilda is going to get a proper talking-to, but then she’ll probably threaten to quit, and what would they ever do without her? She’s a treasure, keeps the house running like clockwork, and good servants are so hard to find these days. And she’d never breathe a word about the incessant haranguing poor Johnny gets from all corners. No, best to stay quiet about it and toss that accursed thing in the fireplace.

      The ad copywriter totally stole that last panel with the mildly creepy Uncle Joe from [Waldorf toilet-paper ads](https://medium.com/@MuseInks/wheres-the-waldorf-fascinating-vintage-advertisements-for-toilet-tissue-7b8bb6a692de).

    6. When the police arrived at the scene, they found Timmy, vacant-eyed, covered in blood, and muttering, “Kleenex will clean my soul…Kleenex…”

    7. thecuriousostrich on

      It’s interesting to see that the habit of calling everything a “Kleenex” has been around this long and that they’ve been fighting it for equally long. I wonder when they gave up?

    8. The panel with uncle would make an amazingly menacing picture if you took off the copy.

      On second thoughts – they all would!

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