littleoctagon on November 22, 2025 8:12 pm What was that “jerk jesus” comics that went around a long time ago? I saw this and thought: “You run like a girl” “Shut up, Jesus!”
OliverNorvell1956 on November 22, 2025 8:16 pm When I ran track, the relay team all ran in the same lane. Jesus says “Fuck that, the inside lane is shorter!”
DontTellHimPike on November 22, 2025 8:19 pm *”I’m proper shit at running, so I only compete against kids”*
Rower78 on November 22, 2025 8:21 pm Jesus is pissed because that kid doesn’t know how to do a proper baton exchange.
Diligent_Age_6113 on November 22, 2025 8:29 pm JESUS AND GOD SHOULD BE IN EVERYONE’S THOUGHTS! HE IS ALREADY IN YOUR HEART AND YOU NEED TO REALISE THAT!
Link50L on November 22, 2025 8:36 pm Highly fucking credible running gear from approx. 20 AD, the middle east.
mutanthands on November 22, 2025 8:38 pm Jesus runs pretty well considering there’s a giant cross tied to his back! /s
Cross_22 on November 22, 2025 8:46 pm Bad choice – they should have picked Hermes for the relay team instead.
DrProfessorSatan on November 22, 2025 8:50 pm Just God chasing Jesus with a cross, “Me dammit, move your ass! You want to made daddy proud don’t you?”
DadsRGR8 on November 22, 2025 8:55 pm I don’t think Billy is running, I think he’s starting to float from the Rapture. Jesus isn’t passing the baton, he’s grabbing it from Billy before he can float off with it.
givin_u_the_high_hat on November 22, 2025 8:56 pm “Goddammit coach, why isn’t Jesus running anchor? We all want to win.”
roarrshock on November 22, 2025 8:57 pm As fast as jebus morenlikely is, I figure his robe’d ride up exposing his holy buttox
ddollarsign on November 22, 2025 9:02 pm The bearded guy looks too old for the high school team, and isn’t dressed appropriately for track.
Mightsole on November 22, 2025 9:02 pm Thank god! Jesus put his sandals on and helped this poor man to lift the wooden stick of incommensurable weight and stillness. If he haven’t done that, humanity would have had a wooden stick pinned to the ground for the eternity without anyone being able to lift it. That’s a miracle that the boy can even run with it! Hope he’s doing well (it’s literally a drawing).
CursorX on November 22, 2025 9:02 pm What is this difference in distance between upper bodies and lower bodies?!
buttfirstcoffee on November 22, 2025 9:06 pm In this scenario, do you let the CEO win or do you make your mark?
42 Comments
The boy is struggling to run.
Wouldn’t a cross be the last thing Jesus wants to see?
Ra lashed his wings so we could soar.
Don’t you fucking lose the lead I gave you, Ryan! 🙏
What was that “jerk jesus” comics that went around a long time ago? I saw this and thought:
“You run like a girl”
“Shut up, Jesus!”
When I ran track, the relay team all ran in the same lane. Jesus says “Fuck that, the inside lane is shorter!”
“Pick up my baton and carry it for me!”
*”I’m proper shit at running, so I only compete against kids”*
Jesus is pissed because that kid doesn’t know how to do a proper baton exchange.
Jesus would have crushed steeple chase.
Jesus not bring the anchor sacrilege
I thought he did crossfit
Did Jesus thank himself after the race?
Runs faster & was nailed to a cross ffs
And in sandals. Legendary performance by Christ, Jesus The.
Jesus take the baton, take it from my hand
JESUS AND GOD SHOULD BE IN EVERYONE’S THOUGHTS! HE IS ALREADY IN YOUR HEART AND YOU NEED TO REALISE THAT!
Jesus H Christ, kid! Pick up your knees!
Highly fucking credible running gear from approx. 20 AD, the middle east.
Jesus runs pretty well considering there’s a giant cross tied to his back! /s
“Lol imma take that baton Billy”
Bad choice – they should have picked Hermes for the relay team instead.
Those must be some quality running sandals.
When lowercase t’s attack.
Just God chasing Jesus with a cross,
“Me dammit, move your ass! You want to made daddy proud don’t you?”
I always thought jesus would run anchor.
I mean, the Bible never said Jesus *didn’t* have a mullet…
The mythology is strong with this one
You had a separate yearbook just for track?
I don’t think Billy is running, I think he’s starting to float from the Rapture.
Jesus isn’t passing the baton, he’s grabbing it from Billy before he can float off with it.
“Goddammit coach, why isn’t Jesus running anchor? We all want to win.”
As fast as jebus morenlikely is, I figure his robe’d ride up exposing his holy buttox
Looks like shitty AI stuff now to be fair…
The bearded guy looks too old for the high school team, and isn’t dressed appropriately for track.
Perspective is way off
Thank god! Jesus put his sandals on and helped this poor man to lift the wooden stick of incommensurable weight and stillness.
If he haven’t done that, humanity would have had a wooden stick pinned to the ground for the eternity without anyone being able to lift it.
That’s a miracle that the boy can even run with it! Hope he’s doing well (it’s literally a drawing).
What is this difference in distance between upper bodies and lower bodies?!
He’s doing relay because he was banned from steeplechase.
That’s wrong. He’s supposed to take the wheel, not the baton
Jesus not on anchor is insane
Jesus wore Nike sandals in the 80s.
In this scenario, do you let the CEO win or do you make your mark?