I was thinking the other day about how the amount of sex I've been having with my wife has plummeted since having children, and so I decided to plot a chart to visualize what the difference looks like compared to earlier in our relationship, and to when I was single. I figured the best way to compare the data was to estimate the average number of times I had sex per month, for each year of my life. My data up to age 24 is 100% accurate. From 25 on it's just an estimate, but I'm pretty good at estimating. What do you think? Is my experience typical? Any young people looking at this and fearful of the future?
Background: I am a 40 year old straight man, 5'11.5", weight has been between 150 and 195lbs during my adult life, but usually between 170-180lbs. My fitness level started as above average at 18, progressed to well above average by 27, then declined to above average again at age 35, where it remains. I think I'm probably above average in looks, but below average in charisma. I have a bachelor's degree in engineering and a good job. We're not rich enough to have a nanny, but we don't have to worry about money either.
Significant events influencing the data:
-First girlfriend at age 25.5, which lasted about 7 months
-Was involved with more than a dozen women from age 26 – 28, including 2 fairly successful fwb relationships at age 27 + 28, however there were also dry spells.
-Met my wife shortly before my 29th birthday
-Married at age 33
-First child at age 34
-Second child at age 37
Source: Me
Tools used: Excel
by Golding666
21 Comments
This can’t be true because only virgins use Excel for plotting!
Well, that was a short peak…
Those peak years are insane numbers.
My peak was probably late teens and I dont think I would have ever gone past 20 a month, even 15 a month isnt a certainty.
Before I read the full post I said to myself “I see they had a baby at age 34”
I’d suggest using a line graph!
3rd child and youll have no need for a chart
0.08 at 23
“My data to 24 is 100% accurate”
Yeah, so the 0.08 is how deep you where “in” ?
Instead of caluclating the decrease in sex maybe you should be discussing how to increase intimacy (whether it be by sex or not) as well as increasing sexual satisfaction for both partners
(Even if it means using communications, scenarios, aides, that you hadn’t previously considered)
Are you satisfied with this frequency currently? If not, what do you wish it was and what have you tried to do to fix it?
Any regrets having kids?
It is insane how having a child leads to so many dead bedrooms. From nearly once-per-day, to once a month. Your situation is not unique, unfortunately.
Hmm, I’m 45M and having the most sex I’ve ever had. But then again, I wasn’t that sexually active until my 40’s, mostly due to low self esteem.
This one post could convince thousands of people that all of their preconceived notions about Reddit are true
Per this chart, I just past my prime boys
I’ll be 50 next year, married at 26, two kids are 19 and 21, this chart is accurate, other than the almost every day when you we 29 and 30, you animal.
The Data pesentation ist not too beautuful, but absolutely fits the needs, and I’m thankful for the insight in your sex life. Interesting and I can relate to it, esp. to a drop after kids (but I think you dropped too low and for too long, discuss with spouse!)
I saw that distinct drop and thought ‘oh they had kids’
Lol you monthly data looks like my yearly data, except after 32 it went back to zero
Correct to say that you lost your virginity at 23, had sex once then? And then nothing for 2 years. Curious to understand the late start and the 2 year gap between popping your cherry and becoming more sexually active.
I knew the drop was either end of a relationship or a kid. Happy to hear it was the latter
>My data up to age 24 is 100% accurate.
You mean the one time you had sex prior to that? 😏
>From 25 on it’s just an estimate, but I’m pretty good at estimating.
In other words this is completely subjective “data”. At a minimum, you should ask your wife to estimate the numbers for your time together to see how closely they match, so the data is at least based on more than one person’s recollection.
I didn’t realize I had kids. I wonder where they are?