Pope just called. Says he can offer a Heaven pass if Trump releases the Epstein Files today. Limited time offer.
Solid_Snark on
I mean, if I show up to Heaven’s Gates and Trump is standing behind them, I’m asking St. Peter to send me to Hell.
inactivemember99 on
Holy shit. The first truth Trump has ever told.
Is the apocalypse next week?
TryingHarder7 on
For once, I agree with him.
Mtanderson88 on
Did he really say that?
EvanderTheGreat on
This is why he didn’t put his hand on the Bible when being sworn in. No point in taking an oath you don’t intend to keep and getting on God’s bad side even worse than he already is.
Ok-Dark7829 on
So… no shit…?
paolilon on
He’s 100% not going to heaven, but then again, the heaven think is a crock of shit
mcknight92 on
Cruitire on
The first honest thing he’s ever said.
maximillianx on
Maybe he can buy some sort of golden Heaven card.
Chaos_Theory1989 on
Everyone will be asked to donate so he can bribe God.
ConsciousReason7709 on
Can we pick up the pace on that whole thing?
AntiSoCalite on
Maybe he should crucify himself and find out.
ACorDC on
The implications of this comment lol Christians believe they only have to ask Jesus into their heart to get into heaven. So he hasn’t even taken the first step to becoming a Christian.
HotStaxOfWax on
Holy shit! Was he actually self aware for a couple of seconds?! Or did the dementia make him share that? I don’t believe in heaven or hell are waiting for anyone, but if there is he has a room ready and made up for his eternal torment and damnation.
Lamlot on
Your flag decal won’t get you into heaven anymore. They’re already overcrowded from you dirty stupid war.
hb122 on
God doesn’t like pathological liars, adulterers, pedophiles, or leaders who commit war against their own people.
SnooRobots8901 on
“I’m fucking Satan”
-Snail CockÂ
el-conquistador240 on
There is no such thing as heaven, but if there was, it would not accept pedophiles
vibes86 on
This man clearly knows he’s dying. He’s been obsessed with talking about going to heaven the last couple of months.
IsThereCheese on
Buddy if you’re going to heaven, I don’t wanna be there
Fickle-OnAir on
On the express elevator going down….
Amazing_Teaching2733 on
This is a grift. He’s playing the sympathy card. Woah is me, Ive worked so hard for you and made so many sacrifices for you! Look! I won’t get into heaven because I fought so hard for you! The least you can do is donate every last dime you have to help me buy my way in
The_Glus on
HurtPillow on
Maybe he should have left those girls alone, should have paid his contractors, should have not committed adultery, should not have stolen from kids with cancer, and perpetrating violence upon his countrymen, because the road ahead is a hot one for him.
26 Comments
Pope just called. Says he can offer a Heaven pass if Trump releases the Epstein Files today. Limited time offer.
I mean, if I show up to Heaven’s Gates and Trump is standing behind them, I’m asking St. Peter to send me to Hell.
Holy shit. The first truth Trump has ever told.
Is the apocalypse next week?
For once, I agree with him.
Did he really say that?
This is why he didn’t put his hand on the Bible when being sworn in. No point in taking an oath you don’t intend to keep and getting on God’s bad side even worse than he already is.
So… no shit…?
He’s 100% not going to heaven, but then again, the heaven think is a crock of shit
The first honest thing he’s ever said.
Maybe he can buy some sort of golden Heaven card.
Everyone will be asked to donate so he can bribe God.
Can we pick up the pace on that whole thing?
Maybe he should crucify himself and find out.
The implications of this comment lol Christians believe they only have to ask Jesus into their heart to get into heaven. So he hasn’t even taken the first step to becoming a Christian.
Holy shit! Was he actually self aware for a couple of seconds?! Or did the dementia make him share that? I don’t believe in heaven or hell are waiting for anyone, but if there is he has a room ready and made up for his eternal torment and damnation.
Your flag decal won’t get you into heaven anymore. They’re already overcrowded from you dirty stupid war.
God doesn’t like pathological liars, adulterers, pedophiles, or leaders who commit war against their own people.
“I’m fucking Satan”
-Snail CockÂ
There is no such thing as heaven, but if there was, it would not accept pedophiles
This man clearly knows he’s dying. He’s been obsessed with talking about going to heaven the last couple of months.
Buddy if you’re going to heaven, I don’t wanna be there
On the express elevator going down….
This is a grift. He’s playing the sympathy card. Woah is me, Ive worked so hard for you and made so many sacrifices for you! Look! I won’t get into heaven because I fought so hard for you! The least you can do is donate every last dime you have to help me buy my way in
Maybe he should have left those girls alone, should have paid his contractors, should have not committed adultery, should not have stolen from kids with cancer, and perpetrating violence upon his countrymen, because the road ahead is a hot one for him.