Hippopotamus: I am surrounded by fear

    by Sampleswift

    12 Comments

    1. Explanation: Unlike the gorilla, the hippopotamus can actually fight 100 unarmed men. However, most likely the hippopotamus just barges its way through some of them and then retreats to a body of water. Wild animals are often risk-averse, even aggressive ones like hippos.

    2. Imaginary-West-5653 on

      African Elephant to the 100 unarmed men: “This is not war! This is pest control!”

    3. ResponsibleMall3771 on

      Unarmed is a fucking ridiculous nerf, you know that right? We put all our fuckin stat points into intelligence our whole ass evolution that’s like telling a rhino it can’t use its horn.

      How about we declaw the lion and knock all its teeth out before we put it in the colloseum too?

      Literally rocks and sharp sticks and we Body This Thing

    4. JFK_Shot_First1 on

      At least with the gorilla there is a chance you can choke it out. How tf are you head-locking a biological semi-truck

    5. Hippo can just run around and trample the men.

      It’s thick skin can absorb bites, kicks, punches with little issue.

      The men would have to somehow use all their strength as a single unit to pin it which is very hard to do.

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