I would never wanna be w someone who thinks they’re “settling” or lowering their standards for me ts is embarrassing (condolences to anyone who’s been in a relationship like that)
NobodyLikedThat1 on
eh, types change, and even then I like to think a good personality can outshine other factors. My wife prefers tall dudes with thick hair. I’m completely average height with a short buzzcut.
But she likes my sense of humor, how I treat her, my strong arms and chest, and apparently a cute butt. It would suck to never have gotten to know her if she was stuck on things you can’t change, like height.
TwoHungryWolves on
I’ve been the first “nice guy” several times. It’s hot trash. They hype you up when you’re making your worst decisions, and get turned off when they catch you reading a book. If you like roughnecks please just stick with roughnecks
Shoate on
I think having a type just means what you’re looking for at first glance, and it doesn’t need to be what you found.
Highest of keys, a type is just another word for a fetish, and if someone can love you despite having that type, doesnt that make it a little bit deeper?
JennLegend3 on
I mean, there’s a difference in a pity date and recognizing that you’re not happy dating the same type of person, so you expand to someone you wouldn’t “usually” date.
Themanstall on
naw. but don’t go around announcing it unprovoked.
Types change based on situations and age. just grow together once together.
Bunnnnii on
Well it’s happened to me (not the actual dating part, but me suddenly having feelings for someone I never thought I would). Personalities really win me over. My weakness is a guy that really is laid back, like nothing bothers him and he really just be chillin. It’s makes for a very comfortable environment and it’s just sexy as hell. I be found myself liking a guy that I never thought I would and it shook me. It sneaks up on me which is the worst part.
persephonepeete on
eh. opposites attract. it’s ok someone told you the truth. it doesn’t have to be malicious.
VicViolence on
This is actually – and I’m serious, here – what every long-term romantic partner has said to me, including my current one
xxDoublezeroxx on
Announcing it is the problem. Keep that shit to yourself
sixth_hokage06 on
I don’t want to be settled on or the “safe choice”
Tripple_T on
Nah. Love at first sight is overrated
QuestionSign on
Ehh it depends. It’s not necessarily a pity date sometimes it’s a “normally I would but it’s because of me not you” and then they’re surprised.
Had a friend, normally she dated biker types, went out with this nerdy accountant and it’s the happiest she’s ever been
stoned-autistic-dude on
My wife said she’d never date anyone who wore jeans skinnier than her. I didn’t gaf bc she’s absolutely gorgeous. She’s a dime with no change to spare. Been together 12 years
DatDominican on
Nah because that means we genuinely are compatible and if look fade with age they won’t immediately bolt since they weren’t looking at me for that in the first place
colonelcleavage on
This was me with my last girl. She would constantly bring up her exes and talk about how she liked certain traits that I clearly didn’t have. There was one guy in particular she would mention, completely unprompted, saying he was a “10/10” in bed. She even brought him up during intimate moments, which made me feel mad weird. When I’d point it out to her, she’d say she was joking or that it was just satire.
She also liked to point out how I didn’t fit a lot of her preferences. At the time, I was a college student (I have multiple degrees but was working on another), I’m neurodivergent, and I’m not the stereotypical “strong, silent type.” Shit wore me down.
I haven’t dated in almost a year now, and honestly, I have no intention of putting myself back out there anytime soon. A woman telling me that I’m not her type, but she finds me good enough to date would have me running for the hills, at this point.
Spare-Image-647 on
I wasn’t my wife’s type at all when we met. Happily married many years later
BirdAdditional1 on
whys this even a topic
SoulPossum on
It’s less about pity and more about misreading the room sometimes. If it were left up to me, I wouldn’t have gone on a 2nd date with my now wife. The first date was fine, but I didn’t think we were compatible enough and I also didn’t really think she enjoyed it as much as she did. She texted me a few days after that saying “I want to go out again” straight up. We went on a couple more dates and things picked up from there. Turns out my wife was just more reserved because she really liked me and was nervous the whole time. Sometimes giving people a chance to grow on you makes a big difference.
HMThrow_away_account on
It depends on the context imo. Does “type” mean preference or attraction? Im not my wife usually type and she isnt mine. We’re still incredibly attracted to each other tho.
Pristine-Stick-4612 on
My wife was 1,000% not my type when i was young. I took a chance on something new and exciting and I wouldn’t change a damn thing.
alexcutyourhair on
One of my exes and I were not each other’s type at all, but we were open about that and also open about the fact that we loved each other enough to try. It really was never an issue for us, in my experience when you’re in love then whoever you’re with is the most beautiful person in the world
Open-Moment2295 on
I do not know why people actively date someone thats not there type or attracted to it makes no sense and then you tell them that nah it’s over I’m out. ✌🏿
Disastrous_Clurb on
I feel like this can go a lot of ways.
I was told this by an ex (that he would’ve never gone for me initially) that just didn’t think I’d be interested since i was a different ethnicity/culture and i was very reserved so i came off as standoffish. But this was before he interacted with me directly and i guess once he actually interacted with me he thought i was hilarious and had an interest.
Idk if i could try dating someone who i flat out wasn’t their type though especially after gettin to know me. I’m not sure if that would sit well with my spirit lol
apresmoiputas on
When I’m told or hear “you’re pretty cute for a black guy”, my walls come up b/c I’m not someone’s social experiment.
Minimaliszt on
I wouldn’t mind. They’re going for, or went, for me now. I feel like that’s better than being dismissed or brushed off.
elitegenoside on
Depends if she gives any context. “I’ve never gone out with a white guy,” or, “I usually go for shorter guys” hits different than a general, “I don’t usually go for guys like you.” It really depends how it’s phrased, imo.
Morlock19 on
i mean if they went with you any way then there was SOMETHING they were attracted to, and now you’ve been together enough to call them your SO, so they must like you. no one has a pity long term relationship
if someone says that to me i’d be like “oh cool that means even if they weren’t into me they saw something special in me.” also shock that i had a girlfriend somehow
throw-me-away_bb on
“not my usual type” doesn’t have to translate to “you fuckin’ ugly, yo”
29 Comments
I would never wanna be w someone who thinks they’re “settling” or lowering their standards for me ts is embarrassing (condolences to anyone who’s been in a relationship like that)
eh, types change, and even then I like to think a good personality can outshine other factors. My wife prefers tall dudes with thick hair. I’m completely average height with a short buzzcut.
But she likes my sense of humor, how I treat her, my strong arms and chest, and apparently a cute butt. It would suck to never have gotten to know her if she was stuck on things you can’t change, like height.
I’ve been the first “nice guy” several times. It’s hot trash. They hype you up when you’re making your worst decisions, and get turned off when they catch you reading a book. If you like roughnecks please just stick with roughnecks
I think having a type just means what you’re looking for at first glance, and it doesn’t need to be what you found.
Highest of keys, a type is just another word for a fetish, and if someone can love you despite having that type, doesnt that make it a little bit deeper?
I mean, there’s a difference in a pity date and recognizing that you’re not happy dating the same type of person, so you expand to someone you wouldn’t “usually” date.
naw. but don’t go around announcing it unprovoked.
Types change based on situations and age. just grow together once together.
Well it’s happened to me (not the actual dating part, but me suddenly having feelings for someone I never thought I would). Personalities really win me over. My weakness is a guy that really is laid back, like nothing bothers him and he really just be chillin. It’s makes for a very comfortable environment and it’s just sexy as hell. I be found myself liking a guy that I never thought I would and it shook me. It sneaks up on me which is the worst part.
eh. opposites attract. it’s ok someone told you the truth. it doesn’t have to be malicious.
This is actually – and I’m serious, here – what every long-term romantic partner has said to me, including my current one
Announcing it is the problem. Keep that shit to yourself
I don’t want to be settled on or the “safe choice”
Nah. Love at first sight is overrated
Ehh it depends. It’s not necessarily a pity date sometimes it’s a “normally I would but it’s because of me not you” and then they’re surprised.
Had a friend, normally she dated biker types, went out with this nerdy accountant and it’s the happiest she’s ever been
My wife said she’d never date anyone who wore jeans skinnier than her. I didn’t gaf bc she’s absolutely gorgeous. She’s a dime with no change to spare. Been together 12 years
Nah because that means we genuinely are compatible and if look fade with age they won’t immediately bolt since they weren’t looking at me for that in the first place
This was me with my last girl. She would constantly bring up her exes and talk about how she liked certain traits that I clearly didn’t have. There was one guy in particular she would mention, completely unprompted, saying he was a “10/10” in bed. She even brought him up during intimate moments, which made me feel mad weird. When I’d point it out to her, she’d say she was joking or that it was just satire.
She also liked to point out how I didn’t fit a lot of her preferences. At the time, I was a college student (I have multiple degrees but was working on another), I’m neurodivergent, and I’m not the stereotypical “strong, silent type.” Shit wore me down.
I haven’t dated in almost a year now, and honestly, I have no intention of putting myself back out there anytime soon. A woman telling me that I’m not her type, but she finds me good enough to date would have me running for the hills, at this point.
I wasn’t my wife’s type at all when we met. Happily married many years later
whys this even a topic
It’s less about pity and more about misreading the room sometimes. If it were left up to me, I wouldn’t have gone on a 2nd date with my now wife. The first date was fine, but I didn’t think we were compatible enough and I also didn’t really think she enjoyed it as much as she did. She texted me a few days after that saying “I want to go out again” straight up. We went on a couple more dates and things picked up from there. Turns out my wife was just more reserved because she really liked me and was nervous the whole time. Sometimes giving people a chance to grow on you makes a big difference.
It depends on the context imo. Does “type” mean preference or attraction? Im not my wife usually type and she isnt mine. We’re still incredibly attracted to each other tho.
My wife was 1,000% not my type when i was young. I took a chance on something new and exciting and I wouldn’t change a damn thing.
One of my exes and I were not each other’s type at all, but we were open about that and also open about the fact that we loved each other enough to try. It really was never an issue for us, in my experience when you’re in love then whoever you’re with is the most beautiful person in the world
I do not know why people actively date someone thats not there type or attracted to it makes no sense and then you tell them that nah it’s over I’m out. ✌🏿
I feel like this can go a lot of ways.
I was told this by an ex (that he would’ve never gone for me initially) that just didn’t think I’d be interested since i was a different ethnicity/culture and i was very reserved so i came off as standoffish. But this was before he interacted with me directly and i guess once he actually interacted with me he thought i was hilarious and had an interest.
Idk if i could try dating someone who i flat out wasn’t their type though especially after gettin to know me. I’m not sure if that would sit well with my spirit lol
When I’m told or hear “you’re pretty cute for a black guy”, my walls come up b/c I’m not someone’s social experiment.
I wouldn’t mind. They’re going for, or went, for me now. I feel like that’s better than being dismissed or brushed off.
Depends if she gives any context. “I’ve never gone out with a white guy,” or, “I usually go for shorter guys” hits different than a general, “I don’t usually go for guys like you.” It really depends how it’s phrased, imo.
i mean if they went with you any way then there was SOMETHING they were attracted to, and now you’ve been together enough to call them your SO, so they must like you. no one has a pity long term relationship
if someone says that to me i’d be like “oh cool that means even if they weren’t into me they saw something special in me.” also shock that i had a girlfriend somehow
“not my usual type” doesn’t have to translate to “you fuckin’ ugly, yo”