That’s tight. I remember my Dad wouldn’t let us sell shit from school fundraisers which always made me feel left out.
freebirth on
ICE was funded 75 BILLION dollars over the next two years…
and here we need to give handouts to public schools
Tat2dDad on

yamimementomori on
My favorite part is the humor in the middle section and last sentences.
Goosegirlj on
My favorite fundraiser!
Illsquad on
Should’ve left the PTO PayPal viewable, school could’ve made bank from
Redditors…
CECINS on
I would fill this out so fast
lonerstoners on
They did this at little league when my kids were young. They required every family to do so many hours of volunteer work working the concessions, cooking or cleaning. I paid to opt out every year and I loved that I could!!
Ironic_Coincidence on
This is pretty good. Our school is selling “acts of kindness” where the kids are supposed to do nice things for family/neighbors for the donation. It’s honor system and a good way to teach charity to kids I think (or just no pressure donate if you don’t care).
Advanced-Humor9786 on
This is great! I’m glad schools are finally getting the message. When my son had a fundraiser for his school we didn’t want him going door-to-door asking people to buy stuff so we wrote a check and sent it to the school with the catalog. This is a much nicer way tohandle fundraisers!
Schmails202 on
It’s called “Venmo Parenting”. Please don’t make us do anything. Here’s $
inkseep1 on
This is a really good idea. When I was in 3rd grade, it was selling candy from a catalog. I made the most sales in my class and I got a poor quality dog plush. In middle school it was selling candy bars. Most kids just ate the candy and paid for it. The school got something like 15 cents per bar. The prizes on the stage included a dune buggy. The largest prize given to any student was a pencil with a fuzzy ball on the end. I returned most of my box unsold. I wish that I would have just not taken it at all as it would have been way less hassle.
By the way, less hassle is a good general policy for running your life.
Fine-Bumblebee-9427 on
Yes please.
In my city, there’s a poplar drag restaurant that does a drag brunch fundraiser. It’s free, but you need to provide all the raffle and bingo prizes, staff the bingo and raffle tables, do all the advertising and recruiting, and even your event staff pay the cover.
A good event might pull in $1200. $400 or $500 is more common. When you break down the man hours involved in the event, it’s sub minimum wage. I’d much rather give $50 and be done with it than spend ~60 some hours tracking down donated raffle prizes.
BoozeIsTherapyRight on
My kids’ school did this. I gladly gave $100 and I knew that every dime went to the PTO and none of it went to scammy fundraising companies that peddle shoddy crap so bad that we were embarrassed to show the catalogs to the grandparents.
DrTadakichi on
I remember selling coupon books to go on a band trip. Those are the only things I ever peddled and we looked forward to it every year. They would have fast food coupons that actually had value, like buy a little Caesars get one free, or a value meal get one free. Hell my mom would use the buy any item get another free to get Tylenol and it would basically pay for the book with that one savings.
Graybeard_Shaving on
I have no children and pay roughly $4,700 per year in property taxes of which roughly 48.1% goes directly to funding schools. Given my length of home ownership in this county I’m roughly $56,000 deep into total property taxes and $27,128.40 directly to the school system. Not to mention any additional funding the county allocates to the school system from our general purpose county taxes of which I pay several more thousand per year.
I say that to say this. I still buy something from the kids going door to door come fundraising time. Same goes for Band uniform fundraising time, Boy Scout popcorn time, Girl Scout cookie time, etc.
Why? Because we live in a fucking society!
Several-College-584 on
As a parent of two… I’m in.
Odd-Goose-8394 on
The school by us was selling MATTRESSES! I kid you not. For sports team fundraisers at the high school. Ridiculous. Those poor kids.
rwv on
> in addition to all the other fundraisers we’ll be doing throughout the year.
Yikes.
biemmeup on
Love this so much
xl-Colonel_Angus-lx on
I don’t have kids, but put me down for 75
MrYeaBuddy on
No but this is low-key genius. Props to whomever thought of this.
DaveDavidsen on
“Enclosed is a check for $400. Which is $100 for each school year. Leave me alone for four years.”
paralyse78 on
I’m a big fan of this. I deplore schools that force kids to basically do door-to-door sales peddling crappy chocolate bars, candles, bags of chips, those big lollipops or whatever else garbage they want to push. Some of the parents got ultra-competitive like it was the freaking World Series of Selling Cheap Crap. Personally, I suspect a lot of the money that was raised went everywhere except to the kids.
As a kid who was deep on the spectrum, the thought of having to go door-to-door (which is what they wanted) interacting with strangers scared me to death, like, panic attack levels of anxiety. Did they offer us an option? No, of course not. So every year my parents would buy two or three boxes of those awful chocolate bars just so I wouldn’t have to be embarrassed in front of the entire class by being that one kid who didn’t sell a single thing. This also got me through Scouts which also made you sell crap to strangers (magazine subscriptions is one I recall.)
If my parents could have just straight donated the money they spent buying boxes of cheap chocolate that mostly ended up in the trash to the PTA instead, that would have been a much better option.
Miles_Everhart on
I fucking love this. Finally, some goddamned honesty.
Prestigious-Emu7325 on
A bit passive-aggressive, but I’m all in
TheComplimentarian on
NGL, I’d have signed up for this in a hot second.
Why do I have to enroll my kid in an MLM to get them to sell X units of (crap) so that their club gets (X cost)/100 $’s for their club?
This would be the easiest $75 I ever spent. I wouldn’t eat for a week, so I wouldn’t have to stress for a YEAR.
boosayrian on
Now we have to pay *not to do* what our parents didn’t do for free!
Inflation, am I right?
cnhades on
I used to have to sell boxes of citrus fruit … in October … for people to then go pick up in December. That was the absolute worst. I was lucky because my friend’s parents owned a juice bar, so they bought my fruit. But because of this, I will always buy whatever dumb garbage my friends kids are selling — but what’s even better is if I could just do this. I love when the fundraisers have the donation option.
iamtheduckie on
I’m glad that 100% of the profits go to the PTO, and isn’t reduced by over half by the people running it. My elementary school was a victim of the Boosterthon Fun Run (a.k.a. the Loserscam Scum Run).
nimaku on
School fundraisers are so stupid. Our local schools really like the ones where they hype the kids up to get some sort of stupid dollar store prize, and “All you have to do is put 10 emails from our family on this website tonight!” Why would they ever think signing people up for spam emails is a good idea? And then that stupid website takes a cut! My family members would much rather just write a check to the school, but then the KIDS DON’T WANT THAT because then they don’t get the next level up of stupid toy! Whose bright idea was it to convince the kids they should be talking their family out of giving better donations?
badpoetryabounds on
Every one of the normal fundraisers has some company making money off it. This is better. Money goes to the school. No one else gets a cut. And you don’t get a whole bunch of plastic shit as “prizes.”
34 Comments
Fair enough
I like it, personally
That’s tight. I remember my Dad wouldn’t let us sell shit from school fundraisers which always made me feel left out.
ICE was funded 75 BILLION dollars over the next two years…
and here we need to give handouts to public schools

My favorite part is the humor in the middle section and last sentences.
My favorite fundraiser!
Should’ve left the PTO PayPal viewable, school could’ve made bank from
Redditors…
I would fill this out so fast
They did this at little league when my kids were young. They required every family to do so many hours of volunteer work working the concessions, cooking or cleaning. I paid to opt out every year and I loved that I could!!
This is pretty good. Our school is selling “acts of kindness” where the kids are supposed to do nice things for family/neighbors for the donation. It’s honor system and a good way to teach charity to kids I think (or just no pressure donate if you don’t care).
This is great! I’m glad schools are finally getting the message. When my son had a fundraiser for his school we didn’t want him going door-to-door asking people to buy stuff so we wrote a check and sent it to the school with the catalog. This is a much nicer way tohandle fundraisers!
It’s called “Venmo Parenting”. Please don’t make us do anything. Here’s $
This is a really good idea. When I was in 3rd grade, it was selling candy from a catalog. I made the most sales in my class and I got a poor quality dog plush. In middle school it was selling candy bars. Most kids just ate the candy and paid for it. The school got something like 15 cents per bar. The prizes on the stage included a dune buggy. The largest prize given to any student was a pencil with a fuzzy ball on the end. I returned most of my box unsold. I wish that I would have just not taken it at all as it would have been way less hassle.
By the way, less hassle is a good general policy for running your life.
Yes please.
In my city, there’s a poplar drag restaurant that does a drag brunch fundraiser. It’s free, but you need to provide all the raffle and bingo prizes, staff the bingo and raffle tables, do all the advertising and recruiting, and even your event staff pay the cover.
A good event might pull in $1200. $400 or $500 is more common. When you break down the man hours involved in the event, it’s sub minimum wage. I’d much rather give $50 and be done with it than spend ~60 some hours tracking down donated raffle prizes.
My kids’ school did this. I gladly gave $100 and I knew that every dime went to the PTO and none of it went to scammy fundraising companies that peddle shoddy crap so bad that we were embarrassed to show the catalogs to the grandparents.
I remember selling coupon books to go on a band trip. Those are the only things I ever peddled and we looked forward to it every year. They would have fast food coupons that actually had value, like buy a little Caesars get one free, or a value meal get one free. Hell my mom would use the buy any item get another free to get Tylenol and it would basically pay for the book with that one savings.
I have no children and pay roughly $4,700 per year in property taxes of which roughly 48.1% goes directly to funding schools. Given my length of home ownership in this county I’m roughly $56,000 deep into total property taxes and $27,128.40 directly to the school system. Not to mention any additional funding the county allocates to the school system from our general purpose county taxes of which I pay several more thousand per year.
I say that to say this. I still buy something from the kids going door to door come fundraising time. Same goes for Band uniform fundraising time, Boy Scout popcorn time, Girl Scout cookie time, etc.
Why? Because we live in a fucking society!
As a parent of two… I’m in.
The school by us was selling MATTRESSES! I kid you not. For sports team fundraisers at the high school. Ridiculous. Those poor kids.
> in addition to all the other fundraisers we’ll be doing throughout the year.
Yikes.
Love this so much
I don’t have kids, but put me down for 75
No but this is low-key genius. Props to whomever thought of this.
“Enclosed is a check for $400. Which is $100 for each school year. Leave me alone for four years.”
I’m a big fan of this. I deplore schools that force kids to basically do door-to-door sales peddling crappy chocolate bars, candles, bags of chips, those big lollipops or whatever else garbage they want to push. Some of the parents got ultra-competitive like it was the freaking World Series of Selling Cheap Crap. Personally, I suspect a lot of the money that was raised went everywhere except to the kids.
As a kid who was deep on the spectrum, the thought of having to go door-to-door (which is what they wanted) interacting with strangers scared me to death, like, panic attack levels of anxiety. Did they offer us an option? No, of course not. So every year my parents would buy two or three boxes of those awful chocolate bars just so I wouldn’t have to be embarrassed in front of the entire class by being that one kid who didn’t sell a single thing. This also got me through Scouts which also made you sell crap to strangers (magazine subscriptions is one I recall.)
If my parents could have just straight donated the money they spent buying boxes of cheap chocolate that mostly ended up in the trash to the PTA instead, that would have been a much better option.
I fucking love this. Finally, some goddamned honesty.
A bit passive-aggressive, but I’m all in
NGL, I’d have signed up for this in a hot second.
Why do I have to enroll my kid in an MLM to get them to sell X units of (crap) so that their club gets (X cost)/100 $’s for their club?
This would be the easiest $75 I ever spent. I wouldn’t eat for a week, so I wouldn’t have to stress for a YEAR.
Now we have to pay *not to do* what our parents didn’t do for free!
Inflation, am I right?
I used to have to sell boxes of citrus fruit … in October … for people to then go pick up in December. That was the absolute worst. I was lucky because my friend’s parents owned a juice bar, so they bought my fruit. But because of this, I will always buy whatever dumb garbage my friends kids are selling — but what’s even better is if I could just do this. I love when the fundraisers have the donation option.
I’m glad that 100% of the profits go to the PTO, and isn’t reduced by over half by the people running it. My elementary school was a victim of the Boosterthon Fun Run (a.k.a. the Loserscam Scum Run).
School fundraisers are so stupid. Our local schools really like the ones where they hype the kids up to get some sort of stupid dollar store prize, and “All you have to do is put 10 emails from our family on this website tonight!” Why would they ever think signing people up for spam emails is a good idea? And then that stupid website takes a cut! My family members would much rather just write a check to the school, but then the KIDS DON’T WANT THAT because then they don’t get the next level up of stupid toy! Whose bright idea was it to convince the kids they should be talking their family out of giving better donations?
Every one of the normal fundraisers has some company making money off it. This is better. Money goes to the school. No one else gets a cut. And you don’t get a whole bunch of plastic shit as “prizes.”