Jesus. 90% of my thoughts about myself fail this test.
Blythe97 on
What if it’s true and necessary but it’s not kind…
OkNectarine3105 on
I may never speak again.
velvetrevolting on
Yesterday this made sense. But, now I’m dealing with a supervillain entity and it’s henchmen.
carmium on
You have a president who, should he follow that guide, would be standing wordlessly in front of reporters, trying to find something to say. For once.
WatermellonSugar on
I ignore all these in favor of “Is it funny?”
John_Eilish on
You would take 1 to 2 minutes to speak a word.
nowwhathappens on
I once heard Craig Ferguson say a similar thing, something like “Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said by me right now?”
Desperate-Source-918 on
My anxiety thinks this before everything I say, but I still end up saying the wrong thing, usually from overanalysing it.
Chou19431a on
It’s a straightforward and strong warning. Choosing your words carefully is important, so it’s good to pause and think before you talk.
rallyvite on
100% for truth and not being frivolous but I feel if what you might say suffices #3, go for it. Kindness rules.
robinbain0 on
It depends on the situation.
patawpha on
4. Would it break rules 1-3 but also be hilarious?
embellished-mind on
I have to be blunt about this. These 3 questions are a prison built by people pleasers. Here’s the upgraded version that actually works in the real world:
1. Is it TRUE? (Keep this one)
2. Is it ACTIONABLE? (Replace ‘necessary’ – weak word)
3. Will it ELEVATE? (Forget ‘kind’ – aim higher)
Why? Because ‘necessary’ and ‘kind’ create passive, conflict-avoidant people. Sometimes the truth needs to sting. And unfortunately, discomfort is the only path to growth for some people,
The goal isn’t to be nice. The goal is to be effective.
Example: Telling someone their startup idea is garbage might not be ‘kind,’ but if it saves them from wasting 2 years of their life? That’s elevation.
Brutal honesty + actionable insight = real growth.
RickJWagner on
This is the best thing on Reddit today.
Thank you, OP!
Confident-Fudge-2087 on
So no jokes!
iwishihadnobones on
Is this true?
FinalArt53 on
Dank AI prompt.
AlonePitch7970 on
I love getting motivated this is so wonderful
AlonePitch7970 on
Does anyone feel like they are a spiritual Being having a human experience ?
Tushe on
There are people who speak only for the sake of saying something.
31 Comments
And the ADHD in me “SQUUUWWWAACK!”
The ‘Is it kind’ one absolutely should not always apply. Sometimes kind words are the last thing that’s needed
If the answer to all 3 is “no” youre ready to post it on Reddit!
Before that conversation ends don’t waste time in these process
This is why I basically never talk
I can’t think of a situation where only 2 would apply and it shouldn’t be said. True and necessary? True and kind? Kind and necessary?
All pass for me.
The Four Way Test of Rotary International, basically.
1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?
https://preview.redd.it/y784l4hbvcge1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23866e997ac52d327f3fb4e3ffd758eed15fb035
No. No. No.
2/3 will suffice
Jesus. 90% of my thoughts about myself fail this test.
What if it’s true and necessary but it’s not kind…
I may never speak again.
Yesterday this made sense. But, now I’m dealing with a supervillain entity and it’s henchmen.
You have a president who, should he follow that guide, would be standing wordlessly in front of reporters, trying to find something to say. For once.
I ignore all these in favor of “Is it funny?”
You would take 1 to 2 minutes to speak a word.
I once heard Craig Ferguson say a similar thing, something like “Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said by me right now?”
My anxiety thinks this before everything I say, but I still end up saying the wrong thing, usually from overanalysing it.
It’s a straightforward and strong warning. Choosing your words carefully is important, so it’s good to pause and think before you talk.
100% for truth and not being frivolous but I feel if what you might say suffices #3, go for it. Kindness rules.
It depends on the situation.
4. Would it break rules 1-3 but also be hilarious?
I have to be blunt about this. These 3 questions are a prison built by people pleasers. Here’s the upgraded version that actually works in the real world:
1. Is it TRUE? (Keep this one)
2. Is it ACTIONABLE? (Replace ‘necessary’ – weak word)
3. Will it ELEVATE? (Forget ‘kind’ – aim higher)
Why? Because ‘necessary’ and ‘kind’ create passive, conflict-avoidant people. Sometimes the truth needs to sting. And unfortunately, discomfort is the only path to growth for some people,
The goal isn’t to be nice. The goal is to be effective.
Example: Telling someone their startup idea is garbage might not be ‘kind,’ but if it saves them from wasting 2 years of their life? That’s elevation.
Brutal honesty + actionable insight = real growth.
This is the best thing on Reddit today.
Thank you, OP!
So no jokes!
Is this true?
Dank AI prompt.
I love getting motivated this is so wonderful
Does anyone feel like they are a spiritual Being having a human experience ?
There are people who speak only for the sake of saying something.
I appreciate the paradigm.
But doesn’t this lead to idiocracy also?