A museum in the Netherlands recataloging their archives has discovered an ancient Roman phallus carved from bone that measures over eight inches long. Dating back approximately 1,800 years, researchers believe the artifact may have been used to ward off evil spirits. [900×615]
by kooneecheewah
38 Comments
Hahaha when I get home and see my GF ill ask is she wants to “ward off evil spirits” with me.
Ward off evil spirits eh? Were they by chance located in the rectum?
Yeah it’s going to ward off somethin….
All hail the almighty penis!
I think the reasoning is that evil spirits are repulsed by happiness and laughter and ancient Romans found dicks hilarious. Especially large dicks.
“No, I’ve never met a ‘woman’- why do you ask?”
“Don’t come in, I’m warding off evil spirits!”
They had custom nightstands made for those back then.
Deep drawers. With a locking mechanism in case a kid got their hands on it, accidentally warding off the good spirits
So close! It was for…. *checks medical notes from 19th century*…. curing Hysteria.
Are evil spirits afraid of giant penises?
I’ll be in my bunk warding off evil spirits.
>artifact may have been used to ward off evil spirits
So thats how they were calling it back then…
“The Roman and the phallus were roommates for 35 years.”
Can you also ward off evil spirits with 6 inches?
Asking for a friend
No, no, it was not meant to ward off evil spirits…
“Researchers believe that the artifact may have been used to ward off evil spirits.”
God forbid it was used for sex. Cuz that would be weird.
Probably used to toss salads too.
Thinking after 1800 years that you can finally rest in peace but now humans are using their electric machines to share lifelike portraits of your secret bone… fertility idol.
“Oh God, I’m warding!”
Who you gonna call? GHOST F**KERS!
Yeah, that’s absolutely what they were doing with it.
Hey Babe, new sexual euphemism just dropped!
I read that seven times and I’m like “what the hell is rectaloging?”
It was Re-cataloging
I need help.
Wards off evil spirits, attracts crackhead cavemen
“Evil spirits” as in “angry person who hasn’t had an orgasm in 14 days”
That’s why you give the middle finger, originally it was meant to guard off evil eye
5 inches is enough to ward off evil spirits too. Just saying….
And they were roommates!
9 times out of 10 these things that look like dicks actually end up being loom shuttles
Are the evil spirits in the room with us now?
Evil spirits never stood a chance against the bone dong.
Sometimes a dildo is just a dildo.
Sure sure sure…definitely used to ward off evil spirits.
“Ritual purposes” is back. Do I get an archaeology degree now? I’d like a first too btw.
Wonder if they checked for DNA 🤔
Well finally an artefact that really fits the theme of the sub.
They’ll take *any* explanation except “people are kinky and the gays have existed since Always”.
So, are they looking for volunteers to ward off additional evil spirits? Asking for a friend
“Heed thine wicked dong and be gone from thine dwelling, foul beings!”