Growing up is realizing that Sparta is not cool

    by jackt-up

    18 Comments

    1. Modern Athens is still one metropolis while modern Sparta is a crappy crystal meth and heroin den.

    2. mfw I uncritically repeat propaganda written several hundred years after the events described

    3. AustereSpartan on

      Athens also received resources from the Persian Empire.

      I agree Sparta did not have nearly as great an impact on Greek civilization, especially when it comes to science and literature, but it was an integral part of ancient Greek history and played a decisive role in defeating the Persians. It is doubtful whether the Greek contributions to science, literature, democracy and so forth would reach that level without the Spartan defence of Greece. Sparta’s military might preserved Greek autonomy during a time of major crisis.

    4. If working with the Persians is a crime, all the guys on the top are working out. In prison.

      The Sparta glazing is too much though.

    5. NoWingedHussarsToday on

      Growing up is realizing historical states (and people) are neither chads nor virgins but a bit of both and that historians that focus on only one aspect are pushing an agenda.

    6. Where’s Thebes? People always forget Thebes. They are my favorite Greek polis and are infinitely cooler than Spartans (in fact they made a habit of comprehensively trouncing Spartans).

      Fucking Alexander did Thebes dirty.

    7. LastEsotericist on

      Sparta won the Peloponnesian wars not through their military but through their extremely good diplomacy. Its need to constantly watch its back with regard to the helotes meant that it was actually quite aware of its own limits and restrained in its territorial ambitions. Turns out being a democracy isn’t that great for diplomacy since you eventually get a reputation of electing some greedy dude on a grievance platform who betrays their allies because they want more. Sparta’s political system was at least consistent, and they could be trusted to not wake up one day and decide to turn their allies into colonies.

    8. Interesting-Dream863 on

      You missed the best part…

      “We are pussy whipped by the widows of Sparta, the true owners of our city.”

    9. PertinaxWorries on

      No one in their right mind believes that 300, a movie with weird man-animal hybrids with claws for hands, is historically accurate.

      Yes, Abraham Lincoln was a real person but Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter is not historically accurate.

    10. Good_old_Marshmallow on

      I think what’s really telling is that for maybe the most culturally impactful era and region in terms of art, philosophy, theater, architecture, state craft, and early science, Sparta created and contributed nothing. 

      They at best innovated some impressive military techniques before Macedonian sheep herders made them irrelevant 

    11. geschiedenisnerd on

      Corinth meet miletus (single handedly colonized the entire black sea area for greece.), massalia (entire provence area) and syracuse (magna grecia is their handy-work for like half)

    12. I’ve hated Sparta since the first time I’ve heard about them.

      But that might just be because AC Sparta Praha exists.

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