I’m restarting my life and work from zero at 29 and starting at a new place. I know the usual advice is “don’t compare timelines,” and I understand that.
What I’m really looking for is this: when comparison and FOMO still showed up for you, what actually helped you deal with it in a practical way without losing focus or confidence?
I don’t know yet how this new role will go or how long rebuilding will take, maybe a few years, and I’m learning to be okay with that uncertainty.
If you started over later than expected, what’s one piece of advice or mindset that genuinely stayed with you?
by _too_much_tea
8 Comments
I mean all you do is say out loud that you’re comparing yourself, then, immediately do something for yourself, however tiny, that helps. Then you associate difficult thoughts with labeling them and taking action on your behalf. Eventually the uncontrolled comparisons becoming triggers for controlled progress and it’s nothing to fear any longer.
I restarted my life at 51 and I’m doing fine. You’re way ahead of me, so just keep on doing what you’re doing.
Take care of your health and invest in a retirement plan.
Outcomes are out of our control, effort isnt. Being in the moment never lets me down. Plus, lifes short might as well just have fun!
Don’t forget your training. Sometimes we so caught up in *this* thing that we don’t give the past lessons in life credit and fail to apply tried and true solutions in life to new challenges. Not just occupational things, the stuff you learned on the playground or at a house party in your 20s can be really useful.
You can’t change what happened to you. You can only change how you feel about it.
I had to restart my life at age 32 after leaving a cult religion & marriage, leaving me to put myself through school and grad school with two kids. To say I felt out of place was an understatement. I continued to remind myself of my “why”. I also reminded myself that it didn’t matter if I was 40 when I graduate. I’ll be 40 anyway, so I may as well have a masters degree to show for it, too. Keep showing up for yourself and make yourself proud!
This is the best advice I’ve ever received from the smartest man I know:
“Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you’ve been, ever, for any reason whatsoever.”
-Michael Scott, CEO of Michael Scott Paper Company
Honestly, I just remind myself how much life I still have. I restarted in a new career at 29. I still have three and a half decades of work ahead of me. That’s more time than I’ve been alive. I’m exploring the world anew with way more experience and wisdom and it’s exciting!
Still scary and hard, but got to remind myself of the excitement.