had my last first date of this year this past weekend and thought these numbers might be interesting. my first dates are always either coffee or ice cream and i probably pay for myself about 65-70% of the time. second dates are always a meal and i pay for myself about 45% of the time. if he pays for the meal and we get dessert after, i pay for dessert
i initiate ~65% of first dates and initiate ~75% of rejections with lack of banter and mismatch in long-term plans being the most common rejection reasons. maybe 60% respond back well, another 20% don’t respond at all, and the rest say that they also didn’t see it working out
data source was me tracking it manually by hand and i used sankeymatic for the chart
feldhammer on
Damn at first I thought it was 41 matches, which I feel would be a lot for a dude. But that’s a lot of actual DATES!!
why_doineedausername on
Where did you find 41 men to go on dates with and what size city do you live in
LawyerBrasileiro on
Why did the fifth date go wrong? I was already imagining you two married with children.
Few_Researcher7078 on
Looks exhausting. No idea how are you all doing it
HegemonNYC on
You went in 41 first dates? Flabbergasting. I’ve had a dozen casual relationships, 3 serious gfs, a wife of 15 years, and there is no way I’ve gone on 41 first dates in my lifetime.
Can I ask why?
Lionel679 on
I’d like to participate in the data collection. Lets go grab a coffee?
OkJaguar5220 on
Was there no follow up dates on these because you denied them or they didn’t ask you on a follow up?
TheFinestPotatoes on
What’s wrong with all the guys you’re dating?
Are you rejecting them or are they rejecting you?
Diggumdum on
Lmao meanwhile I can’t even get 41 people to respond back.
SsooooOriginal on
There are how many weeks in a year?
Where yall find the energy?
Never understood people that play the field with multiple dates in a week, maybe I’m just slow but that’s a lot to keep up with.
EVOSexyBeast on
Can you do a
1. First date
2. I rejected, they rejected, second date
3. I rejected, they rejected, third date
4. I rejected, they rejected, fourth date
etc…
AdamPedAnt on
Before we were married, my wife was given this advice that changed my life: Lower your standards.
STYL3D on
42nd times the charm? I’ve only gotten 2 dates this year so I’m not thrilled about these stats lol
Caramel_Twist on
As a woman (31F) who has just recently started being single again, this data is amazing!
I am apprehensive on what the world of dating is like for 30 + year olds, so it’s lovely to see some data on lived experience.
CesQ89 on
Almost one date a week. Some men are lucky to get 2 a year lol
Do you only talk on the app for a a day or two before deciding to meet up?
Logitech4873 on
That’s insane. I’ve had one in the past 32 years. Hopefully it’ll magically improve by itself while I do nothing to remedy it.
W8kingNightmare on
Women really do make up their minds quick. If you are not on your game the moment you meet you are done.
I dont want to be rude but unless they were extreme differences maybe giving a guy a second chance would go a long way?
Ferreteria on
Holy mother. That’s a lot of first dates.
I’ve been single just about 5 years post-divorce. I’ve gone on maybe … a dozen? Dates.
Of those, 5 became something – a relationship, a fling/friendship.
Several of the others I’d call long-term friends that never formulated into a physical or romantic relationship, but a positive encounter anyway where we’ve at least somewhat kept in touch.
This is as a guy though, a little older than you. I wonder if your experience is more typical for women? I know the availability to get dates is several factors higher for women than men.
michigan_matt on
At what point are you on a first name basis with the coffee and ice cream shop workers?
GrumpyFeloPR on
what happend to the 5th date?
CeterumCenseo85 on
58 dates in a year is rough. Is there something specific that you feel they just didn’t meet your standards on? Only speaking of the ones you rejected, ofc.
baudinl on
What happened on the fifth date?
kungfu1 on
At what point do you start to question if maybe you;re the problem and stop wasting these poor peoples time?
AutomagicallyAwesome on
I’m fascinated that you could go on 41 first dates and never get past the “we’ve been on a couple of dates” phase. Are you even looking for a relationship, or do you just like meeting people?
Hendo52 on
You only need to win once
nick1812216 on
Sometimes i think about trying to date again, and then I see data like this or a friend shows me her likes/matches on a dating app, and i think to myself “what’s the point? I may as well play the lottery”
Illustrious-Engine23 on
It’s the 80/20 rule for everything!
DMBEst91 on
41 dates, sounds exhausting
NFSS10 on
This seems a you problem. That’s a lot of dates, the math isn’t helping you
lets_BOXHOT on
41 first dates is insane. Either your standards are too high or you’re not actually interested in dating someone long-term
BongLeach562 on
You went on 41+ dates in 1 year? I think you average more than 1 per week if you take into account 2nd, 3rd, etc dates.
ausmomo on
I think this graph could be improved by always having the bottom branch be the “no more dates” branch. It would add consistency to the graphic.
LobbyDizzle on
Late 30s man here in a major city, and this looks about the same for me. Good times!
appledippers on
Seeing this as a slightly below average looking dude this hurts so bad. There’s no way I could get 41 women to go on dates with me in my lifetime.
hops_on_hops on
This is really neat. Good for you. Dating is about getting out there. If you want to meet the right one for you, you’re going to have to meet a lot of the wrong ones first.
The responses from all the people who apparently want a partner, but are opposed to going on dates are… Perplexing.
AndreBerg on
Meanwhile usual redditor, 41 swipes, 1 match, no answer
Sheyvan on
What’s really missing with these ones is always… WHO rejected and who GOT rejected.
superbugger on
Well when you date 41 people in a year and have more than 1 date per week in average (57 in total), it’s probably going to be hard to take the time to make meaningful connections.
chochoca on
Almost a date a week, jesus take a break
markusbrainus on
Love how the male equivalent of this is 500+ match requests and maybe 2-3 dates all year. OP is taking weekly first dates.
Thanks for sharing the data!
FrancoisTruser on
41 first dates?! Yeah a guy will never have that number
Mepslol on
Only females data start at the date.
Male stats start at 3000 swipes for 40 likes
Huntred on
Sounds like you’re an attractive (at least in an appealing sense) person who can get a lot of dates. And you’re just 30, so you can and should keep going on dates to explore what’s out there and what you do and don’t want. Finding a guy who will just fill the role of marrying you and throwing a couple babies in you will not make you happy.
Excellent data for the rest of us, however. To make it even better, it would be interesting to see further up the funnel and see your match-to-date numbers. I saw that you use multiple platforms so it might be trickier to distill but seeing how often you convert matches to dates might give some insight into how discerning you are.
Purplecatty on
Honestly the people that seem bitter that this girl had 41 dates are giving away why they have a hard time finding dates.
beene282 on
This would be a lot more beautiful if the order was consistent
jcchg on
Some even dare to compare women and men in the dating market.
Byrdie_girl on
41 different people how is that even possible. I don’t think I meet that many new people on five years
48 Comments
had my last first date of this year this past weekend and thought these numbers might be interesting. my first dates are always either coffee or ice cream and i probably pay for myself about 65-70% of the time. second dates are always a meal and i pay for myself about 45% of the time. if he pays for the meal and we get dessert after, i pay for dessert
i initiate ~65% of first dates and initiate ~75% of rejections with lack of banter and mismatch in long-term plans being the most common rejection reasons. maybe 60% respond back well, another 20% don’t respond at all, and the rest say that they also didn’t see it working out
data source was me tracking it manually by hand and i used sankeymatic for the chart
Damn at first I thought it was 41 matches, which I feel would be a lot for a dude. But that’s a lot of actual DATES!!
Where did you find 41 men to go on dates with and what size city do you live in
Why did the fifth date go wrong? I was already imagining you two married with children.
Looks exhausting. No idea how are you all doing it
You went in 41 first dates? Flabbergasting. I’ve had a dozen casual relationships, 3 serious gfs, a wife of 15 years, and there is no way I’ve gone on 41 first dates in my lifetime.
Can I ask why?
I’d like to participate in the data collection. Lets go grab a coffee?
Was there no follow up dates on these because you denied them or they didn’t ask you on a follow up?
What’s wrong with all the guys you’re dating?
Are you rejecting them or are they rejecting you?
Lmao meanwhile I can’t even get 41 people to respond back.
There are how many weeks in a year?
Where yall find the energy?
Never understood people that play the field with multiple dates in a week, maybe I’m just slow but that’s a lot to keep up with.
Can you do a
1. First date
2. I rejected, they rejected, second date
3. I rejected, they rejected, third date
4. I rejected, they rejected, fourth date
etc…
Before we were married, my wife was given this advice that changed my life: Lower your standards.
42nd times the charm? I’ve only gotten 2 dates this year so I’m not thrilled about these stats lol
As a woman (31F) who has just recently started being single again, this data is amazing!
I am apprehensive on what the world of dating is like for 30 + year olds, so it’s lovely to see some data on lived experience.
Almost one date a week. Some men are lucky to get 2 a year lol
Do you only talk on the app for a a day or two before deciding to meet up?
That’s insane. I’ve had one in the past 32 years. Hopefully it’ll magically improve by itself while I do nothing to remedy it.
Women really do make up their minds quick. If you are not on your game the moment you meet you are done.
I dont want to be rude but unless they were extreme differences maybe giving a guy a second chance would go a long way?
Holy mother. That’s a lot of first dates.
I’ve been single just about 5 years post-divorce. I’ve gone on maybe … a dozen? Dates.
Of those, 5 became something – a relationship, a fling/friendship.
Several of the others I’d call long-term friends that never formulated into a physical or romantic relationship, but a positive encounter anyway where we’ve at least somewhat kept in touch.
This is as a guy though, a little older than you. I wonder if your experience is more typical for women? I know the availability to get dates is several factors higher for women than men.
At what point are you on a first name basis with the coffee and ice cream shop workers?
what happend to the 5th date?
58 dates in a year is rough. Is there something specific that you feel they just didn’t meet your standards on? Only speaking of the ones you rejected, ofc.
What happened on the fifth date?
At what point do you start to question if maybe you;re the problem and stop wasting these poor peoples time?
I’m fascinated that you could go on 41 first dates and never get past the “we’ve been on a couple of dates” phase. Are you even looking for a relationship, or do you just like meeting people?
You only need to win once
Sometimes i think about trying to date again, and then I see data like this or a friend shows me her likes/matches on a dating app, and i think to myself “what’s the point? I may as well play the lottery”
It’s the 80/20 rule for everything!
41 dates, sounds exhausting
This seems a you problem. That’s a lot of dates, the math isn’t helping you
41 first dates is insane. Either your standards are too high or you’re not actually interested in dating someone long-term
You went on 41+ dates in 1 year? I think you average more than 1 per week if you take into account 2nd, 3rd, etc dates.
I think this graph could be improved by always having the bottom branch be the “no more dates” branch. It would add consistency to the graphic.
Late 30s man here in a major city, and this looks about the same for me. Good times!
Seeing this as a slightly below average looking dude this hurts so bad. There’s no way I could get 41 women to go on dates with me in my lifetime.
This is really neat. Good for you. Dating is about getting out there. If you want to meet the right one for you, you’re going to have to meet a lot of the wrong ones first.
The responses from all the people who apparently want a partner, but are opposed to going on dates are… Perplexing.
Meanwhile usual redditor, 41 swipes, 1 match, no answer
What’s really missing with these ones is always… WHO rejected and who GOT rejected.
Well when you date 41 people in a year and have more than 1 date per week in average (57 in total), it’s probably going to be hard to take the time to make meaningful connections.
Almost a date a week, jesus take a break
Love how the male equivalent of this is 500+ match requests and maybe 2-3 dates all year. OP is taking weekly first dates.
Thanks for sharing the data!
41 first dates?! Yeah a guy will never have that number
Only females data start at the date.
Male stats start at 3000 swipes for 40 likes
Sounds like you’re an attractive (at least in an appealing sense) person who can get a lot of dates. And you’re just 30, so you can and should keep going on dates to explore what’s out there and what you do and don’t want. Finding a guy who will just fill the role of marrying you and throwing a couple babies in you will not make you happy.
Excellent data for the rest of us, however. To make it even better, it would be interesting to see further up the funnel and see your match-to-date numbers. I saw that you use multiple platforms so it might be trickier to distill but seeing how often you convert matches to dates might give some insight into how discerning you are.
Honestly the people that seem bitter that this girl had 41 dates are giving away why they have a hard time finding dates.
This would be a lot more beautiful if the order was consistent
Some even dare to compare women and men in the dating market.
41 different people how is that even possible. I don’t think I meet that many new people on five years