imo, the more accurate take is understanding your existence/growth/happiness shouldn’t be contingent on settling your grievances with other people who may or may not understand that you’re upset with them. Like, sure, you can call that healing, I guess. I just think it’s on the broader topic on how unfair life is and it is more beneficial to you as an individual to find a way to move forward without *needing* to ‘even the score.’
And at a certain point, how much is an apology going to change anything? This isn’t about you having to forgive anyone, it’s about understanding how much mental energy you put towards resenting how you were treated in the past and how it’s affecting you in the present. Some people just can’t let go how unfair it is and I get that. But ultimately the question is: do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? (or not even that, do you want to just get on with your life and not allow this shitty person to take up more of your time and thoughts)
Just my 2 cents.
cpufreak101 on
My father’s dead and my mom steals money for heroin
I don’t think I was the intended recipient for this.
lazydogjumper on
I cant help but feel like this is another “if you dont get better its YOUR fault” without realizing. Can we get an reasonable mod to nix these?
4 Comments
But how do you heal is the question?
imo, the more accurate take is understanding your existence/growth/happiness shouldn’t be contingent on settling your grievances with other people who may or may not understand that you’re upset with them. Like, sure, you can call that healing, I guess. I just think it’s on the broader topic on how unfair life is and it is more beneficial to you as an individual to find a way to move forward without *needing* to ‘even the score.’
And at a certain point, how much is an apology going to change anything? This isn’t about you having to forgive anyone, it’s about understanding how much mental energy you put towards resenting how you were treated in the past and how it’s affecting you in the present. Some people just can’t let go how unfair it is and I get that. But ultimately the question is: do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? (or not even that, do you want to just get on with your life and not allow this shitty person to take up more of your time and thoughts)
Just my 2 cents.
My father’s dead and my mom steals money for heroin
I don’t think I was the intended recipient for this.
I cant help but feel like this is another “if you dont get better its YOUR fault” without realizing. Can we get an reasonable mod to nix these?